If My Body Was a Car

Dear Joe,
This is just too funny – although scary how true it is!!
Love,
Dad

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If my body was a car, this is the time I
would be thinking about
trading it in for a newer model. I’ve got
bumps and dents and
scratches in my finish and my paint job is
getting a little dull …
But that’s not the worst of it.

My headlights are out of focus and it’s
especially hard to see
things up close

My traction is not as graceful as it once was…
I slip and slide
and skid and bump into things even in
the best of weather..

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.

It takes me hours to reach my maximum
speed. My fuel rate
burns inefficiently.

But here’s the worst of it —

Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter, either my
radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!