pictures

Adam & Eve’s Pets

Posted by joe@smartideasonline.com
Dear Joe,
There are dog people and cat people in the world. We are definitely dog people.
Love,
Dad

Adam and Eve said, ‘Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.’

And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.’

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.

And it was a good animal and God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.

And Adam said, ‘Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.’

And God said, ‘I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG.’

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.

And they were comforted.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, ‘Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.’

And God said, I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration.’

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.

And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat’s eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.

And Adam and Eve learned humility.

And they were greatly improved.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was happy.

And Cat . . .

didn’t give a shit one way or the other.

Replica of Noah’s Ark

Posted by joe@smartideasonline.com

Dear Joe,

I don’t know what to write except that this is awesome! Can you believe this man built the arc to the exact scale given in the Bible?
Love,
Dad

Working Replica of Noah’s Ark opened In Schagen, Netherlands

The massive central door in the side of Noah’s Ark was opened and the first crowd of curious townsfolk beheld the wonder. This replica of the biblical Ark was built by Dutch Creationist Johan Huibers as a testament to his faith in the literal truth of the Bible.

The ark is 150 cubits long, 30 cubits high and 20 cubits wide. That’s two-thirds the length of a football field and as high as a three-story house.

Life-sized models of giraffes, elephants, lions, crocodiles, zebras, bison and other animalsgreet visitors as they arrive in the main hold.

A contractor by trade, Huibers built the ark of cedar and pine. Biblical scholars debate exactly what the wood used by Noah would have been.

Huibers did the work mostly with his own hands, using modern tools and with occasional help from his son Roy. Construction began in May 2005. On the uncovered top deck …. not quite ready in time for the opening …. will come a petting zoo, with baby lambs and chickens, and goats, and one camel.

Visitors on the first day were stunned. ‘It’s beyond comprehension’, said Mary Louise Starosciak, who happened to be bicycling by with her husband while on vacation when they saw the ark looming over the local landscape.

‘I knew the story of Noah, but I had no idea the boat would have been so big! ‘ There is enough space near the keel for a 50-seat film theater where kids can watch a video that tells the story of Noah and his ark. Huibers, a Christian man, said he hopes the project will renew interest in Christianity in the Netherlands, where church going has fallen dramatically in the past 50 years.

Now that I am old and gray….give me the time to tell this new generation (and their children too) about all of Your mighty miracles.
Psalm 71:18

In the midst of so much negative news here is a positive story about a devout Christian man wanting to share the story of Noah with this and the next generation hoping he will bring their faith alive. Amazing isn’t it?

Change Your Viewpoint

Posted by joe@smartideasonline.com
Dear Joe,
This falls in the category of a picture paints a thousand words. Some of the pictures toward the end of the email are tough to look at but I’m still hoping you’ll share this with the kiddos. They need to know how lucky they are.
Love,
Dad

If you think, you are unhappy …..

If you think your salary is low …..

If you think you don’t have many friends …..

If you think you suffer in life, do you suffer as much as he does?

If you complain about your transport system …..
If you think your society is unfair …..

Enjoy life, how it is, and as it comes. There are always those who are worse off than we are. There are many things in your life that will catch your eye, But only a few will catch your heart … pursue those …

One Pound Deer

Posted by joe@smartideasonline.com

Dear Joe,
This email is about a one pound deer. Wait until you see how beautiful he is. Kinda makes your day doesn’t it?
Love,
Dad

This tiny deer was delivered by Caesarean section at a Wildlife hospital after a car killed his mother.

Little Rupert, who is so small he can fit in an adult’s hand, was born after vets failed in their battle to save his mother.

At just 6″ tall and weighing just over a pound, he is now in an incubator in the intensive care unit at Tiggywinkles Wildlife Hospital in Buckinghamshire. He has only recently opened his eyes.

Les Stocker, founder of Tiggywinkles, said, “Rupert’s mother had very severe injuries. We brought him out and got him breathing, and then he went into an incubator on oxygen. He is now being fed by a tube”

Rupert in an incubator.

Rupert pulls a striking pose for the camera.

Staff members are optimistic that Rupert, now 5 days old, will make a full recovery. “Deer are very, very tricky, but this one has spirit. He’s an extremely feisty, little guy and quite pushy,” Mr. Stocker said.

Micro Chip Implant…..

Posted by joe@smartideasonline.com
Dear Joe,
Wait until you check out this email. I had to read it twice before I got it.
Love,
Dad

MICRO CHIP IMPLANT ALLOWS
ISLAMANIAC TERRORISTS TO SPEAK TO ALLAH

The implant is specifically designed to be placed beneath the skin of the forehead.

When properly installed, it will allow the terrorist to speak to Allah.

It comes in various sizes: Generally from .223 to .50 cal.

The exact size of the implant will be selected by a well-trained and highly skilled technician, who will also make the injection.

No anaesthetic is required.

The implant may or may not be painless. Side effects, like headaches, nausea, aches and pains are extremely temporary.

Some bleeding or swelling may occur at the injection site. In most cases, you won’t even notice it.

Please enjoy the security we provide for you.

Best regards,

Maxine

Posted by joe@smartideasonline.com

Dear Joe,

Here are some very funny cartoons. I like how the creator comments on everything from politics, to culture, to aging.
Love,
Dad
John Wagner, Hallmark artist since 1970, says Maxine was inspired by his mother, his maiden aunts and his grandmother, the woman who bought him art lessons when ‘fill in the pumpkins’ was about the extent of his art classes at St. John’s Catholic School Leonia N.J. John remembers doodling as a preschooler and says both his grandmother and his mother encouraged his artistic interests. He eventually attended the Vesper George School of Art in Boston and landed at Hallmark as part of a new artists group. But it was the birth of the humorous Shoebox Greetings (a tiny little division of Hallmark) in 1986 that added a new dimension to John’s professional life. The Shoebox way of seeing the world unleashed his talents and created Maxine.

‘Cartoonists are sensitive to the insanities of the world; we just try to humanize them,’ John says. ‘If Maxine can get a laugh out of someone who feels lonely or someone who is getting older and hates the thought of another birthday, or if she can make someone chuckle about stressful interpersonal relationships, then I’m happy. Putting a smile on someone’s face is what it’s all about.’

Why the name ‘Maxine’? ‘People at Shoebox started referring to the character as ‘John Wagner’s old lady,’ and I knew that would get me into trouble with my wife,’ John says. The Shoebox team had a contest among themselves to name the character and three of the approximately 30 entries suggested ‘Maxine.’ John says the name is perfect.


John, who says he’s humbled by such acceptance of Maxine, admits he’s proud of her.

Now you know the story of how Maxine came to be. Here are the latest ones. Don’t miss the very last one “Towel Heads”.